I hate pigeons.

I'm not generally up at this time in the morning. Hell, this is when I usually go to sleep. However, it may not be a bad idea to change the lifestyle and get up early and all that jazz...

Pfft, like that's going to happen.

I am currently at my friend's house which has fairly fast internet for which I am grateful since I had a little work to do for this event that me and my friends are organizing. It's called TGIM and it's a model united nations conference. I would explain what it is but if you know me at all you already know what that is and if you want to know me then you'll probably look it up so what's the point, really.

So I have to call a couple of the colleges I've applied to today and depending on the answer I may or may not have to travel sometime soon to sort it all out. I'm alright with travelling but my friends in Chennai, which is where I will be travelling to, are absolutely thrilled about it so their enthusiasm is kinda catchy.

It's a funny thing about friends. Technically speaking, your friends owe you nothing, from the very beginning. There's nothing binding them to you, not blood, not anything. They're not your parents or your sister or that favorite cousin of yours that sneaks you alcohol.

And yet they actually are. They can be your mother and guide you when they can tell you're floundering. They can be your father and teach you discipline when they know you're going the wrong way. They can be your sister when they listen to you about the things you can't tell other people.

But most importantly, they can be just what they are; they can be your friends.

They can hold you when you cry because of frustration. They can help you be strong because they know that the journey you're taking is far from over. They can forgive you easily for the things that would take your family years to forget. They make sure they bring you food when you're working hard. They can put a roof over your head. They can make themselves look stupid just to make you laugh. They can put aside all their fears and reservations just to make you feel safe.

Its amazing the kind of love that your friends are capable of. I've always felt that you don't know who your real friends are until shit hits the fan (I have recently fallen in love with that phrase. It's terribly visual, isn't it?). Well, shit has hit the fan now and I know who my friends are. For that, I couldn't be more grateful. They've gone above and beyond the call of duty and I'll owe them forever, even if they don't think so.

My mom has always told me this story about when she was in college. Her family was all kinds of poor and one semester, my dear old grandfather who was just a constable couldn't afford to pay the fees as well as sustain the rest of the family. The college kept asking my mother for the fees and she didn't know what to do about it. It was then that a kind old literature professor paid the fees for her, saying that she could pay him back whenever. They stayed friends, that old professor and my mother and when she got her job in Delhi, he was the first person she paid back.

I'm lucky because all of my friends are like that old professor. I love all of them to bits, every single one. Thanks a lot you guys. For everything.

A pigeon just flew into the window and scared the crap out of me. They are SUCH a waste of space and energy, those birds.

Anyway, I was having a very warm and sentimental moment there before the pigeon. See, they ruin everything. I do mean all that I said though.

My plan for today is to try and find sponsors for that even that we're organizing and to maybe find some job openings at the same time which would be quite useful if I managed to do that. Oh, and a place to stay, which is a little harder but still doable.

Also feel a bit hungry now. But that can wait. That's all for now.

A New Start

I woke up this morning literally not knowing where I was. I felt really disoriented for some reason, a feeling that I normally associate with waking up after a nap on a plane or after a very drunk night, usually next to someone else.

This was neither.

Once my eyes adjusted to the light and I took in my surroundings and I realized that I was at my friend Saras' house. I suddenly felt exhausted. Not because I hate Saras. Oh, no, I love her to death, believe me I do. Its just that when recollection came, it kind of whooshed in, along with the memory of the past ten days which, I must say, haven't been a picnic.

See, I got into the best law school in the country two years ago and approximately six months ago, I decided to leave that prestigious law school. I decided to leave the 100% placement, the respect that I got when I mentioned where I studied. I left all of that because I frankly couldn't do it and I knew if I couldn't bear doing it now, I never would be able to do it. So, I left.

I want to do journalism because ever since I can remember, I have loved words. I love how they can come together in different ways to mean a million different things. Words can paint you the picture of paradise or of hell, they can make you feel ecstatic or they can make you feel morose. I love the power that is behind them and I love that, when I write, I have some of that power too. I love writing and I love the idea of being able to share something bigger than myself when people read what I write.

Let's just say, though, that it's a little difficult for families to grasp the concept of dropping out of the best law school to go study journalism. Which is what the past ten days was all about.

Shit hit the fan this past week, I won't lie about it. But as I told my friends, I would pick these ten days a million times over if it means never having to go back to law which is exactly what it means so it's well worth it. This grueling week has led to a few things that I must now do.

I need to finance my first semester in college to prove that I can sustain myself. Which means I need to:

a) find me a job.
b) find a place to stay.

I'm not overly concerned about the job to be honest. I've had one before and I know I can get one again and I have enough awesome friend who will let me know if a job opens up wherever they're working. The place to stay is a little bit more worrisome but I know it'll fall into place.

The next few months are not going to be easy. They're going to be crazy kinds of hard. I know they are. And I think that's why I started this blog. So I can record what's going to happen over the coming 8 months, the beginning of what I hope will be a new life.

I don't know who's going to read this... if anyone's going to read this at all. But I'm going to keep writing regardless and if anyone joins me on the way, I'll appreciate the company. I have a feeling I'll need the companionship over the next few months.

God bless us, everyone.

P.S. I'm not generally this doom and gloom.